


Sink Or Swim

by Esperata



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Aquaphobia, Drowning, Guilt, Ignorant Trip, M/M, Shore Leave
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2019-03-24 21:34:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13819893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Esperata/pseuds/Esperata
Summary: Trip thinks Malcolm needs to lighten up and he has a plan to help him.





	1. Sink

Malcolm wasn’t happy.

There were a number of reasons for this. Firstly, Captain Archer had approved shore leave on a planet that they’d barely explored. Who knew what dangers might be lurking unexpectedly?

And he hadn’t allowed any off duty personnel to bring firearms with them. In Malcolm’s opinion it was only a sensible precaution to carry some protection against the unknown, hardly a ‘contamination risk’. How likely was he to mislay a pistol?

He couldn’t decide if this mitigated his annoyance at being made to take shore leave himself. After all, at least he was combat trained if there were an emergency.

But of course Archer had been backed up by Commander Tucker in his insistence that Malcolm take some time off.

This annoyed Malcolm mostly because of his own inability to say no to Trip. If he had more resistance to those appealing blue eyes then he wouldn’t be in the predicament he was in now.

Which was the primary reason he was currently unhappy.

Trip had suggested they take a hike, which had seemed like a fine idea at the time, but now they were walking along a steep incline that dropped down into an ominously dark lake. Malcolm couldn’t keep his gaze from flickering to the deceptive waters, almost as if he feared they might reach up and drag him down.

“Hey.” Trip nudged his shoulder with his own. “Fancy a swim?”

Malcolm glared at him.

“No.”

“Aw come on. I see you looking. Bet it’d be nice an’ cool after that walk.”

“No,” Malcolm repeated, not inclined to explain anything further in his current bad mood. He forced his eyes forward and continued their walk. He felt a gentle shove and spun with far more anger than the action warranted.

“I said no Trip.”

Trip stared at him contemplatively.

“You need to lighten up Mal.”

“Don’t call me that,” he muttered, turning away mostly so Trip wouldn’t see the pleased flush that the diminutive caused.

Another playful shove brought him round with a growl.

“Stop it.”

There was a smile lurking round the corners of Trip’s mouth and a teasing look in his eyes.

“Or what?” he challenged, making another light push to the lieutenant’s shoulder.

Malcolm’s eyes narrowed and he determinedly pushed Trip away from him.

What happened next caught him by surprise.

He’d only meant to create some distance – to emphasise to his friend that he wasn’t in the mood for his games – but somehow Trip ended up stumbling sideways and disappearing from view over the precipice.

“Trip!” he yelled and darted to look over the edge just as he heard the splash below. There were ripples expanding from where the engineer had plummeted into the depths but no sign of the man.

“Trip!” he called again desperately. His eyes scanned the surface hoping, expecting, to see the blond head bob up somewhere but there was only gathering stillness. He heard his heart beat fast as his blood pounded and the words of his father echoed back to him.

_“No son of mine will fail to learn to swim. Now, try again!”_

Almost instinctively he responded to the remembered command. Without pausing for thought he dove off the side. The terror seized him mid-fall and he closed his eyes and seized a stuttering breath before the inky waters closed over him.

He fought his way to the surface and seized a lungful of air. In his mind he repeated a mantra over and over, similar to how he had learnt to distract himself as a child but now the words had changed.

_“Find Trip. Find Trip. Find Trip.”_

A barking sound broke his focus and he flinched away from his attempt to dive down into the water. Glancing round awkwardly he saw the familiar grinning face of Trip Tucker. The sound he’d heard was laughter.

His response was visceral and uncontrollable – panic. The laughter echoed off the rocky walls and rebounded from the pool surface, seeming to come at him from all sides. Liquid sloshed over and around him and he felt it splashing into his mouth. He tried instinctively to escape it, flailing at his insubstantial enemy as it tried to overwhelm him.

It wouldn’t stop coming at him, insistent and insidious. He knew he needed to focus, needed to co-ordinate himself, but how could he when it wouldn’t stop slapping at him?

“Malcolm! Mal!” Trip’s voice finally penetrated through the pounding in Reed’s head and he snapped his focus onto the concerned face of the engineer hovering close by, trying to reach for him.

Malcolm positively lurched for him, clutching desperately hard to the strong biceps and hauling himself closer. Trip fumbled for a moment, trying to organise his arms and Malcolm’s so he could support them both, and then Malcolm felt himself being pulled away.

He let Trip carry him but he couldn’t stop himself from jerking every time the waves rose up against him. Finally he was being hauled to his feet and he surged away from the mocking water and staggered as far as he could before falling to his knees and retching.

Only a little water and bile came up but his stomach didn’t seem to register there was nothing to void and it kept trying. His whole body reacted by violently shaking.

“Malcolm?”

A hand laid itself on his shoulder, startling him and he knocked it away before recognising his friend.

Horror seized him. Horror at the sensation of drowning he could still taste and horror at how pathetic he must seem to Tucker. Lieutenant Reed did the only thing he could.

He wrapped himself into a ball, squeezed his eyes shut and prayed for it all to go away.


	2. Swim

Tucker had resorted to carrying the unresponsive lieutenant to the shuttle before piloting them both back to _Enterprise_. He’d informed both Jon and Phlox en route what had happened and they’d been met by the doctor as soon as the shuttle docked.

Phlox swiftly transported Malcolm to sickbay and Tucker moved to follow only to be stopped by Captain Archer brusquely ordering him to his ready room.

Trip was barely aware of his old friend’s simmering anger as almost all his attention was focused on Malcolm. He couldn’t shake the image of him trembling on the gritty shore. The look of terror in those wide eyes. He could still feel the grip from his desperate hands on his arms.

But worse than all that was the utter hopelessness in his expression when he’d simply… retreated. A light had faded and Malcolm’s body had seemed uninhabited by Malcolm himself. Trip had rambled on at him in the hope of sparking some reaction yet the Brit had been utterly silent.

“Well?” Archer’s demanding voice broke Trip from his painful reflections. “I hope you have some explanation Commander.”

For the first time, Trip saw the genuine reproach in the Captain’s eyes.

“I swear ah didn’t know he couldn’t swim.”

Captain Archer openly scoffed.

“You’re his closest friend Trip. You expect me to believe you didn’t _know_?”

“Ah didn’t!” Trip protested despairingly. “Ah knew he was tense. Ah thought a swim would help him relax.”

“Help him relax?” Jonathan’s disbelief was clear. “Trip he has aquaphobia! How would a swim help him relax?”

Trip blinked at him.

“Aquaphobia?” he repeated numbly.

“Yes, a fear of drowning.” Archer paused as he saw the dawning horror in his friend’s eyes. “You really didn’t know?”

“No. Aw gawd! And I made him follow me inta the water!” Trip clutched his head in his hands in clear distress.

Archer hesitated. He had assumed Reed would have told Trip about his phobia but now he thought about it, it seemed much more likely the reticent Brit would have kept quiet. Certainly more likely than Trip blatantly ignoring Malcolm’s feelings on the subject.

He sighed.

“Its alright Trip. You didn’t know.”

“But he said he didn’t want ta an’ ah pushed at him and then went and pretended t’ fall in!”

“He didn’t have to follow you,” Jon offered.

This time Trip scoffed.

“Yeah right. Can _you_ imagine Malcolm sittin’ by while someone drowns? Even if he does have aquaphobia?”

“No. I suppose not.” Jon sat himself down opposite Trip. “You didn’t know,” he offered again.

“You did,” Trip returned, casting an almost accusing look at him.

Archer shrugged.

“It came up while he was drugged and pined to the hull thinking he was about to die. It was part of his explanation of how he was prepared to die for the good of the crew.”

“Ah don’t want him to die,” Trip murmured.

“I know Trip.” Jon reached out to lay a supportive hand on the engineer’s bruised shoulder. “And he’s not going to. You got him out of the water.”

“My own fault he was in it,” Trip muttered before shuddering. “If you’d seen him Jon… he was terrified. And then he just… shut down.”

Archer sought something reassuring to say.

“He’ll be alright Trip.”

Trip opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by the comm.

“Phlox to the Captain.”

Archer leant back and opened the link.

“Archer here.”

“Lieutenant Reed is conscious Captain. He’ll need to stay here 24 hours so I can monitor him but he should make a full recovery.”

“Glad to hear it.” Archer was about to add his thanks when Trip interrupted.

“Is he up to visitors Doc?”

“As long as you don’t agitate him, and allow him to get his rest, then there’s no reason you shouldn’t visit Commander.”

Trip cast a questioning glance to the Captain, who offered an approving nod. The Southerner was up and moving even as Archer informed Phlox, “He’s on his way.”

Trip didn’t really have a plan, or even any clear thoughts, except that he had to see for himself that Malcolm was alright. He wouldn’t be able to close his eyes without seeing that look of fear and knowing deep in his gut that it was his fault. The painful silence that had taken over his friend would haunt him until he’d once again heard that clipped English accent.

As he practically burst into sickbay, he had but one focus – the slight figure laid on a biobed – and he was surprised to feel a restraining hand on his arm. Glancing up he met the gentle face of the Denobulan doctor.

“He’s suffered a very traumatic experience Commander.” Phlox spoke quietly. “Please do not antagonise him.”

“I swear ah won’t,” Trip promised.

Phlox released him with a smile. “Five minutes,” he cautioned.

Trip nodded his understanding before approaching the occupied bed.

“Hey,” he greeted Malcolm softly.

It was a punch to the gut to see the way even such an innocuous greeting caused his friend to tense up. The Englishman’s gaze was fixed on the ceiling.

“Commander,” he returned tersely.

“How yer feeling?” Trip asked, desperately restraining himself from reaching out to assure himself Malcolm was safe.

“Fine.” Malcolm’s answer was too prompt but Trip didn’t call him on it. Instead he hesitated as he tried to work out how to say what he needed to say. He was beaten to it by the lieutenant.

“I should apologise Commander.”

“Apologise?” Trip frowned. “What d’ya have t’ apologise fer?”

“My… reaction in the water was deeply unprofessional.”

“Unprofessional?! If anyone needs t’ apologise fer being unprofessional it’s me. I should never have pressurised you into swimming. If I’d known-”

“But you didn’t know,” Malcolm interrupted, finally turning his head to meet Trip’s eyes. “I should have informed you about my… shortcoming.”

Trip could no longer stop himself from reaching for Malcolm and caught his hand.

“It’s a phobia Malcolm, not a shortcoming.”

Malcolm looked away again.

“Either way, I’m sorry you had to see me behaving so ridiculously.”

“Now see here Lieutenant, it’s not ridiculous t’ be scared.”

Trip saw Malcolm purse his lips and he frowned as a thought struck him.

“D’ya think I’ll think less of ya ‘cause yer scared of the water?”

“Scared of drowning,” Malcolm corrected, still avoiding Trip’s gaze.

“Whatever. You didn’t answer my question Lieutenant.”

The heavy silence was very telling and Trip huffed out a breath.

“Ya see now, _that’s_ ridiculous. You’re the bravest man ah know Malcolm. An’ if anything I think yer even braver after today.”

That drew Malcolm’s incredulous gaze back to his.

“After my panic attack in the lake?”

“After ya dove in to save me despite yer fear,” Trip insisted.

“I could hardly let you drown.” Malcolm had dipped his lashes, hiding his eyes from Trip’s fond view.

Trip’s hand extended seemingly of its own accord and reached its way into Malcolm’s soft hair.

“Trip?” Hesitant grey eyes glanced up at him.

“If anything had happened to you… it’d have been all my fault and I don’t know what I’d’ve…”

Malcolm looked shocked and Trip abruptly realised he was crying. The worry he’d felt for Malcolm suddenly bubbling up and escaping. Reed reached out and caught Trip’s free hand in his.

“It’s alright Trip,” he soothed. “I’m here. I’m fine. It’s all okay.”

Tucker gave in then. He surged forward, clutched his arms around Malcolm and buried his head into his shoulder, letting the tears flow. It was a minute before the initial flood had calmed and he recognised where he was and what he’d done. It was only a second after that though when he realised Malcolm was hugging him back and stroking a gentle hand across the back of his neck.

It was with some reluctance that Trip pulled away.

“Better?” Malcolm asked him, seeming much brighter himself.

“Yeah darlin’. Thanks.”

The endearment didn’t pass unnoticed and Trip watched with pleasure as a blush stole across beautiful cheekbones.

“Excuse me gentlemen,” Phlox interrupted from behind. “Mister Reed really does need to get some rest.”

Trip smiled at Reed and pulled the man’s hand to his lips, satisfied his actions were concealed from the doctor as he placed a chaste kiss there.

“I better go,” he murmured backing away so as to keep Malcolm in sight longer.

“Will you visit me tomorrow?”

The uncertainty in the question melted Trip’s heart and he smiled tenderly at the man.

“Wild horses couldn’t keep me away,” he promised. “Sleep well.”

“You too love,” Malcolm murmured.

Trip knew he’d dream of that sleepy smile and looked forward to waking to a new day with his most beloved friend.


End file.
